Parts Of A Traditional Funeral Service
If you're charged with planning a funeral service for friend or family member, it's likely that you're overwhelmed by all that needs to be done in a short period of time. In addition to choosing a casket, writing an obituary and arranging for flowers, you need to plan a funeral or memorial service.
If you're having your service at a church, they likely have a few guidelines they'd like you to follow and will be happy to assist you in the planning. Even with a church service, there are choices to be made, about things like music, pall bearers and readings. If you're having a non-denominational service outside of a church, you can pretty much structure the service any way you choose. That's both the good and the bad news. For most services, you'll want to consider the following elements:
1. Music. While you want something that's respectful, you'll also want to choose music that was meaningful to the person who died. It can be a favorite hymn, but it can also be a piece of classical music or something out of the "Great American Songbook." During the holiday season, you can also opt for a serious Christmas carol, like "O Holy Night."
2. Readings. Again, you'll want to choose something that had meaning to the deceased. A favorite Bible verse is a good choice as is a favorite (serious) poem. You can even opt for something a family member wrote himself or herself.
3. Open or closed casket. If the person you're honoring is to be buried in a cemetery (as opposed to being cremated), you'll need to decide whether you want the casket to be included in the service and, if so, if you want the casket to be open. Some people feel that seeing the person in the casket helps to give closure; others feel that it's best to remember the person as healthy and vibrant.
4. Pall bearers. If you include the casket in the service, you'll need pall bearers. Traditionally, these six people helped carry the casket to and from the church or other location for the service. Today, the position is more honorary than functional, as caskets are generally set on moving stands. It's customary to choose family members (except the immediate family) and close friends. Traditionally, pall bearers were exclusively men, but that has changed over the last decade or so.
Planning a funeral service can seem overwhelming at first. However, if you break it down into parts, the process is easier to manage and you'll end up with a service that honors and celebrates the life of the person who died. Talk to places like Bolton & Lunsford Funeral Homes to help you through this difficult time.
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